Under the Sicilian Sky Page 5

  “Tell me.” The renewed fear in her eyes ate at him like a rat gnawing on a bone.

  She sucked in a huge breath and continued staring at the sea. The scirocco, the hot wind from Africa, blew her hair in long strands behind her. “You weren’t the only one to go missing that day. Three others, men you knew, also disappeared. Five days later, their bodies washed up on shore. The boat was found two weeks after that, bobbing in the middle of the Med, covered in blood. It was assumed that you had also died. And it was all my fault.”

  A tear glistened on her cheek, and he couldn’t resist. He pulled her against his chest. The relief that swept through him to have her in his arms again was palpable. “How could it be your fault?” He was still trying to assimilate the rest of the information, but her guilt had to stop now.

  “The farm was going through a rough patch. The roof had blown off the barn and the tractor needed major repairs. We were living on artichokes and bell peppers. I casually remarked that it would be nice to have a bit of fish once in a while, as we lived right next to the sea. So while I was at my cleaning job, you went down to the docks and hopped on a boat with three of your old schoolmates. If I hadn’t asked for fish . . . if I’d have kept my mouth shut and been happy with what we had . . . ”

  His chest tightened. How long had she tormented herself with these thoughts? “Bella, it wasn’t your fault. I went fishing. I was probably sick of vegetables as well. There’s no way you could have known what was to happen.”

  “That’s what your father said.” At least his dad hadn’t laid on the guilt. He had a vague recollection that his wife and father had had a tenuous relationship. After his mother’s betrayal, Papa never believed Bella would stick around and had done everything possible to talk Matteo out of the marriage.

  “What’s with the people in town?”

  “The men who washed up on the beach—Stefano, Ciro, and Leonardo—they were known Mafiosi, and according to the newspaper reports they’d all been shot in the head. The boat’s deck had everyone’s blood but yours. There was talk, even then, that you had been the gunman and your body hadn’t washed up on the beach with the others because you’d taken off in another vessel. Now you’re back and clearly wealthy. The rumors have started again, and people think you are an assassin. I’ve just got Vanni Farms profitable. No one will buy from me if they think you’re a killer.”

  He swallowed, wracking his brain for any memory of the day he’d left. Nothing. Maybe later he’d go down to the docks to see if something triggered a flashback. His chest tightened and he could see the apprehension in Bella’s face. “Do you think I killed those men?”

  She hesitated. Merda, she thought he was a murderer?

  “I don’t believe the man I married, the man I loved, could kill in cold blood. But I can see what others might think. Everyone knew we were destitute. It’s not beyond imagining that a man in your position would take the contract, lay low for a few years, and then return to claim what was once his.”

  “I . . . I can’t imagine killing anyone, even less three people, three friends, in cold blood. No matter how desperate I was. I’m innocent, Bella.” Her name came out all broken. Damn his voice for failing him now.

  Dio, he hoped his instinct was right. What if he had done it?

  He stared into her eyes and saw the apprehension. A shiver bumped down his spine.

  “Is that why you didn’t report me missing?”

  • • •

  The rawness of Matteo’s voice grated her heart.

  “What do you mean? Of course I reported you missing, before midnight on the day you disappeared.” Bella searched his face. The hurt in his eyes was unmistakable. He thought she hadn’t loved him? Then why had he returned when he remembered who he was?

  “Really? Because, as soon as I was released from hospital, I went to the Italian embassy. But they said no one matching my description was on their missing persons list. They even showed me the files.” His arms that had been holding her tight now fell to his side.

  “I don’t know what happened then. I went down to the police station and filed the report that night. I called everyone I even thought you might know. Your dad drove around the island for days, checking every cove, every bay, to see if you’d managed to make it back to shore. Cristo came from England to search . . . ” She reached out to touch his face. His jaw was smooth; in a few hours it would be stubbly again. Matteo was six foot two of muscled Sicilian man, but at this moment all she saw was the uncertainty in his eyes.

  “So you had nothing to do with my accident?”

  It took a moment to absorb the impact of his words. The hand that had been caressing his jaw flew to her mouth.

  “How could you even think that? You were my husband. I loved you. I searched for you, prayed for you to return, cried when each wedding anniversary passed and you were still gone. When everyone else told me to give up and have you declared dead, I wouldn’t do it.”

  He reached for her again and she resisted. But the lure of being held by him, if only for a moment, to absorb some of his strength, was too much to resist.

  “I am still your husband, Bella,” he said, his lips rubbing against her temple as he spoke.

  Even though it was the last thing she wanted to do, she stepped away from him. “But I’m not your wife. Not in the way I was. I’m a different person now. Stronger in some ways, but I also know my weaknesses. I can’t afford another six years of getting over you. We need to step back and . . . ”

  “And what?”

  She turned toward the sea, the breeze tangling her hair. Unfortunately, Bob Dylan wasn’t right, the answer wasn’t blowing in the wind.

  “I don’t know,” she said past the lump in her throat. “I just know I need some time to sort it all out in my head. We need to know what really happened the day you disappeared before we can truly move on.”

  “What if we never find out? The doctor said amnesia is unpredictable. I may regain all my memories, or I may always have a blank space of days that will never be filled. I don’t remember the state of our marriage just before my accident. When I hold you though, I remember the amazing feel of being inside you, of never wanting to leave. I remember the calm that would wash over me when you took my hand in yours. I remember the happiness that flowed from my every pore when you smiled at me. But I also have this sensation . . . I don’t know if it’s a memory trying to resurface or just a personal hang-up, but there was something wrong, a reason we weren’t truly content.”

  “It was poverty. We were stone broke. You and your father were too proud to ask for help. The farm was going under and we were all stressed. I’d started to wonder if you’d married me hoping I’d bring money to our marriage. But when my parents disowned me, all I came to you with was my heart. It didn’t seem like enough.”

  “Your love is all I’ve ever wanted, Bella.”

  “Was it? You can’t say that because you don’t remember. Why did you come back, Matteo? You seem to have a great life in Tunisia, two thriving businesses. Why not just stay missing?”

  It was his turn to stare at the sea. “Because I needed to know what I’d lost before I could move on with my life.”

  “And now that you know?”

  “I’m even more confused than before.”

  Amen to that.

  Chapter Six

  Bella rushed into the cottage and barreled straight into Matteo’s chest. Everywhere she went, he was there, filling the space, sucking the oxygen from her lungs, making her body vibrate. How was she supposed to be calm and serene when he unsettled her with every look?

  “You can’t really mean to do this,” he said as she forced herself to walk away. “You already have a husband.”

  “I’m going out with Kai. We’ve known each other since childhood. I’ll be safe with him.”

  “I saw the way he looked at you. He wants you,” Matteo said.

  “Wants me back, you mean. If you recall, I was engaged to him before I married you.” />
  Matteo’s eyes darkened. It wasn’t fair to push his buttons, but she wanted him as off-balance as she was. Her guests had arrived late, but thankfully they were repeat visitors so it only took a couple of minutes to show them around and remind them how to get to the beach. But she was still rushed to get ready for her “date.”

  With the constant tension that swirled between her and Matteo, she was looking forward to an evening with an old friend. Their breakup had been amicable. They’d gotten engaged because they’d been young and thought the friendship between them was love. It wasn’t until she’d met Matteo that she knew that real love was holding someone’s hand and believing that, despite the fact blight had destroyed half the crop, it would still be profitable, even though you couldn’t see how. She and Kai had kept in touch over the years, sharing the pain of each other’s tragedies. Now they were both on the mend, emotionally. Or she had been, until Matteo showed up.

  Kai couldn’t be serious about wanting to get back together with her, could he?

  She raced into the shower, ignoring the scowl on Matteo’s face. He was a fine one to judge her for going out with another man when he spoke like a lover to Farrah on the phone. Although she couldn’t understand their conversations in Arabic, she recognized that soft voice he’d used. It was the same way he used to speak to her.

  She normally took quick showers—to save on the water heating and because they reminded her of some of the most intimate moments with Matteo—but she might have actually set a record with this one. At least she didn’t smell like goat anymore.

  “Where’s he taking you?” Matteo asked as she dashed between the bathroom and her bedroom with only a towel wrapped around her. His eyes flared as he took in her bare legs. An answering heat flooded through her. Why am I going out with Kai again? Oh yeah, to get some space from Matteo to think rationally about what I want from life.

  “Probably just to the restaurant in his hotel in Agrigento. You’re not planning on following us, are you?”

  He hesitated so long she thought he wasn’t going to answer so he didn’t lie. “No. I won’t follow. I trust you, Bella.”

  Was that some kind of snide insinuation that she didn’t trust him? Swallowing down the quick retort that would only launch an argument, she shut the door in his face instead. She didn’t have time for these head games now. She hadn’t even decided what to wear when she heard Kai’s rental SUV make its way up the newly smoothed driveway. Matteo had insisted on paying for the gravel and the guy to spread and flatten it. She’d protested to maintain her independence, but secretly she was relieved. It had to be done but was going to take a big chunk out of her already meager operating budget.

  She peeked through the bedroom window. Seeing what Kai was wearing would give her some idea about how fancy to dress. Matteo was at his side before Kai had even shut his driver’s door. The two men were in earnest discussion, although thankfully no fists were flying. Yet.

  Kai wore a suit but no tie. Semiformal then. Grabbing the first dress her hand came to, she tugged it on, fluffed up her hair and went out to her husband and her date. God, this was screwed up.

  “Hey, Pop-Tart you ready to go?” Kai asked as she stood in the cottage doorway. His use of her annoying but oddly adorable nickname spurred her forward. Kai was fun. She was ready for fun.

  “Pop-Tart?” Matteo asked, his possessive gaze sweeping over her. She resisted the urge to put a hand on her cleavage.

  “Bella was always popping up every time I turned around as a kid. And she was so sweet, it seemed the perfect name for her,” Kai explained.

  She’d popped up on him continually because she’d had a crush on him since she was seven and he eleven, when their parents had become best friends. Kai was fun, easygoing, familiar. Warmth spread through her when she saw him. Matteo, on the other hand, was intense, driven, and she was beginning to feel that she hardly knew him at all. But when their eyes met, the heat that seared her insides wiped all thought of Kai from her mind. She’d been claimed. But her husband didn’t need to know that.

  “I’m ready. Bye, Matteo.”

  Kai opened the passenger door for her, waiting until she’d settled herself before closing it. He shook hands with Matteo, much to her husband’s surprise, before climbing behind the wheel.

  “If another man were driving away with my wife, I’d look just like him,” Kai said, nodding at Matteo through the windshield.

  “I need some space to think. And you don’t really want me back, do you, Kai?”

  He turned the vehicle around and waited until they were past the gate before answering. “I want you to be happy.” He left it at that and the rest of the drive they spoke of acquaintances and his family.

  As expected, he took her to the restaurant attached to his hotel. “Have you spoken with your parents?” Kai asked after the waiter took their drinks order. He should have postponed his question until after she had a martini in hand.

  “No.”

  “I could talk to your mom. She didn’t look very happy the last time I saw her. I’m sure it’s because she misses you.”

  “No. It’s not up for discussion, Kai. They made it clear I had to choose between them and Matteo. When I picked him, they disowned me.”

  “That was years ago. People mellow.”

  “Not them. When Matteo first went missing, I swallowed my pride and begged them to lend me money to pay for a proper search for him. They said, and I quote, ‘If your husband has left you already, we’re not wasting our good money to track down someone we never wanted you to marry in the first place. You made your choice, now live with it.’”

  Kai placed a hand over hers on the table. It was warm and strong. “You should have come to me. I’d have given you the cash.”

  “You were working for Doctors Without Borders. Besides, it seemed wrong to ask my ex-fiancé to fund a search for the man I left him for.”

  He smiled at that. “I never resented you for breaking off our engagement. It gave me an excuse to do what I wanted with my life rather than what my parents wanted. I pretended I was heartbroken and went off to Africa, where I met my beautiful Tsion. So I thank you for that.” A shadow of grief clouded Kai’s eyes. His wife had tragically been killed last year.

  Bella swallowed past the lump in her throat. “But now you’re back in the States doing what they wanted from the first.” Should she go back to America as well, do what her parents wanted? Marry a man with money and social ranking. Do lunches and attend charity events. She shuddered at the thought.

  “And you can bet they remind me of that all the time. If it were just me, I’d still be working in Africa. But the United States is the best place for Joy. You’re going to laugh: I’ve even moved back in with my parents so they can look after their granddaughter if I get called to the hospital in the middle of the night.”

  She did laugh. What was it with her and men who lived with their parents? “I was hoping you’d bring your daughter with you. I’d love to meet her.”

  “Maybe next time. My mother was organizing some fundraising party and couldn’t come with me, so there was no one to look after Joy while I was in meetings.”

  The waiter placed their drinks in front of them and then asked for their dinner order. Bella took a sip of her martini, the alcohol warming a path down her throat.

  She stared at Kai over the rim of her glass. They’d always be friends, but it could never be more. There was no longer a spark of attraction between them. Plus, he was so entrenched in his high-society life, she just couldn’t see herself as the plus one at all his charity events. “At least your parents came around. Did they ever accept your wife?”

  “Yeah, the day I told them they were going to be grandparents. You should try that.”

  “I don’t think Matteo and I are about to have a baby.”

  “You wanted him back for years. What’s the problem?”

  “He’s changed. He’s not the uncomplicated man I wed. Before, if you’d taken me out to dinner
, he’d have kissed me and told me to have a great time. Now, he’s jealous and keeps telling me I’m a married woman and shouldn’t be going out with another man.”

  “Before he was sure of your love. Now he’s not. Uncertainty is not a pleasant state for a man. It makes us irrational.”

  “It’s not only that. He’s got money and speaks Arabic and runs some sort of artisan cooperative as well as a bunch of resort properties. I don’t know him anymore. The Matteo I knew loved the land and had never wanted to leave it. The one in my kitchen now sounds like he can’t wait to put it behind him. And there’s still the whole mystery about his disappearance.”

  “What are you going to do?”

  “I don’t know. I was hoping you’d have some advice.”

  “Come back to New York, marry me, help me raise my daughter, and we’ll grow old together as best friends.”

  Kai sat back as the waiter arrived with their appetizers. Bella glanced at the server’s face. Thank God, he didn’t take any interest in Kai’s weird proposal.

  “Kai, are you serious?” she asked as the waiter retreated.

  “Yes. I don’t want Joy to grow up without a mother. But I’ll never love again, at least not the way I loved Tsion. I can’t go through that a second time.” He put his hand over hers, glaring at the waiter as he approached with a pepper grinder. “We’ve been friends for years, Bella. We could have a good life together. It won’t be the grand passions of our first marriages, but do you really want to go through that heartbreak again if it doesn’t work out with Matteo?”

  “I don’t know what to say.” He had a point. She was terrified of letting Matteo back into her life, not sure she could cope with a second parting. Kai offered her financial security, friendship, and a ready-made family.

  There went her hope to get some clarity. What was a girl to do?

  • • •

  Matteo stood near the cliff’s edge. Below him, the sea caressed the beach like a lover. He used to swim every day, but whatever had happened six years ago had left him with a dread of water any deeper than a bathtub. He inhaled deeply of the salty air to ease the tension in his soul. Watching Bella drive away with another man had ripped him in two.